Thursday, August 29, 2013

Coach Tebow

Anonymous sources have told Foxboro Forum that that after tonight's preseason finale against the New York Giants,  New England Patriots' quarterback Tim Tebow will announce his retirement from football and will subsequently be named a special coaching assistant by head coach Bill Belichick.

The sources, which requested anonymity due to the sensitivity of the subject matter and the teams' desire to keep such moves close to the vest, have cited the presence of coaching assistant Brian Daboll as the key to the plan, as he has been working with the charismatic Tebow all preseason to help make the transition from player to coach as seamless as possible.

The sources had no other information as to time frame or what Tebow would coach, but speculation is that his duties will revolve around the scout team and he will be intimately involved in the game planning process and that all of this is purely cow cookies.

But think about it for a second and it's a win-win situation for everyone.

If Tebow can't be a factor on an NFL team, there's no chance that he'd be a difference maker in Canada with only two downs and a wider field to work with, and would never make it in the Arena League, where throwing into tight windows is paramount.

If Tebow were to become a coach, the haters would be satiated because he's not going to be taking up a roster spot and the disciples would love it because he'd still be part of the team.  Bob Kraft and Bill Belichick are big fans and like having him around, and he already has the respect of every player in that locker room...

...but in the end, this is all probably a figment of my imagination - just like my sources, Captain Jonathan Tuttle and Harvey the Rabbit who, coincidentally, are also Ron Borges' anonymous sources as well.

Just sayin'.


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