Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Source: The Pentavirate to mediate Gronkowski / Patriots stalemate

Break glass only in the event of emergency.

Maybe that's what should be happening with New England Patriots' tight end Rob Gronkowski, stashed away in a heavy duty welded metal box with a glass face, a short chain with a tiny tack hammer dangling from it...

...slide a sandwich in every now and then, let him out for an hour or so a day to catch 17 passes and get a little contact, then tuck him gently back into his glass prison.  It's the only solution to the soap opera that has engulfed the Gronkowski "inner circle", a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.

They have convened an emergency session of the Pentavirate in an attempt to mediate a equitable solution to the "Patriot problem".  At issue, according to sources, is that the the Patriots want him to suit up and play football and this "inner circle" is urging the man-child to hold out another week or so, just to make sure.



Just to make sure of what is a matter of some conjecture among the working press, who are overreacting to reports from anonymous sources

After all,the Patriots are 4-0 without their 54 million dollar tight end - but that isn't the point

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